Talking about your cancer diagnosis
Talking about a cancer diagnosis is never easy. After the life altering confirmation of a diagnosis has been made, the next traumatic experience is telling others about it. This traumatic experience can be caused by the uncomfortable feeling of talking about personal issues, an uncertainty of how people will react or just wanting to protect those you love. It is totally up to you how much you share and to whom. However, what is important is that you have control of the information you share to avoid misunderstanding and allow others to offer support. There are three different groups of people that in most cases need to know, and include friends and family, young children and the employer.
The first people to tell are your immediate family. You must first decide to whom you share the information with, what time and how you will share it. You should also prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. When sharing, it is important to choose a quiet uninterrupted place, think of answers to likely questions and finding the right words to say. Keep your conversation simple, honest and focused, and be prepared for negative reactions such as confusion, fear or even silence. However, remember, it is you who define the boundaries of what you will share. If you are not sure what to say, you can meet with a social worker, psychologist, mental health worker or call the Cancer Council on 13 11 20. Sharing your cancer diagnosis with family and friends is the first crucial step towards building emotional support to help you through your cancer journey. When you open up about your diagnosis, treatment and survivorship, you create connections that can prevent isolation and provide comfort and support.
Depending upon the age of the children, this may be the most difficult. Children do not have the understanding that adults have. Therefore, you may be more likely to keep the diagnosis from them. However, it is always best to be honest with them. Children are observant, and they will find out no matter how hard you try to hide a diagnosis because they will suspect there is something wrong by your facial expressions, sadness, stress, your whispering, closed doors or even changes in the family schedule. By being open with your children you are building trust, valuing them, boosting their self-esteem and easing their concerns. It can also teach them how to deal with difficult situations and conflicting emotions. Children can be told in small pieces of information which may be shared with them while doing daily activities such as walking the dog. However, like adults, it is important to tell them when no interruptions are expected. Furthermore, being honest and real is important.
Telling an employer about cancer can be challenging. While you are under no legal obligation to tell your employer, anything that affects your work or could cause work health and safety hazards needs to be disclosed. Depending upon the cancer, its location, or the treatment and post-treatment recovery, work may be affected in different ways. Before talking to your employer, it is important to talk to your healthcare team to determine what you can and can’t do, the number of hours of work recommended, the time off required and work duties that can be safety done on return to work. When discussing your health conditions with your employer, you may also discuss your needed support, flexible working and time-off arrangements or any methods that may reduce the risk of impact on your work performance. On the other hand, the decision to tell your colleagues should also be carefully considered. The amount of information, the time and place are important considerations.
Sharing your diagnosis and cancer experience with others can be daunting. However, it can also serve as a source of consolation, and a means of gathering important support resources that can help you through your journey. It can also be an opportunity to build trust with both family and friends. What is most important is honesty. Finally, sharing with your employers will prevent any misunderstanding over time off and may open the way to flexible work arrangements that can assist you with maintaining employment while undergoing and recovering from cancer related treatments. If at any time you feel overwhelmed about sharing, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Bloomhill as we have psychologists and counselors who can help. Furthermore, the Cancer Council has a help line 12 11 20 that can help you in times of distress. We are here to help. So please don’t hesitate to share your struggles with us.
References
Cancer Council. (2023). Cancer, work and you. https://www.cancer.org.au/assets/pdf/cancer-work-and-you-booklet
Cancer Council. (2023). Talking to kids about cancer. Cancer Council. https://www.cancer.org.au/assets/pdf/talking-to-kids-about-cancer-a-guide-for-people-with-cancer-their-families-and-friends
Cancer Council. Telling friends and family. https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/after-a-diagnosis/telling-friends-and-family
Macmillan Cancer Support. (2025). Talking about your cancer diagnosis. https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/diagnosis/talking-about-cancer/talking-about-diagnosis
Together4Cancer. (May 6, 2025). How can I discuss my cancer diagnosis with close friends? https://www.together4cancer.com/post/how-can-i-discuss-my-cancer-diagnosis-with-close-friends/
Please contact our Nurses on 07 5445 5794 or [email protected] if you have any questions.
All information provided by Bloomhill is mainly based on research from the Qld Cancer Council and best practice guidelines. Our model of care utilizes the Clinical Oncology Society of Australia (COSA) domains of wellness along with available clinical evidence. Always consult your care team regarding matters that affect your health. This is a guide intended for information only.
